By Nyilueth Mamer Thokgor
I recently came across a social media post that read:
“A misogynist will die protecting his mother’s honour, but a feminist will betray and humiliate her father for cheap social media attention.”
The statement immediately caught my attention. Not because I agreed with it, but because it reflected a growing confusion in today’s conversations about gender.
Has feminism been misunderstood? Is feminism the same as misandry? Are some people using feminism as a cover for their hatred of men? And why do so many people struggle to tell the difference? These questions deserve honest answers.
At its core, feminism is the belief that all people, regardless of gender, should enjoy equal rights, opportunities, and treatment.
A feminist believes that no one should be disadvantaged simply because they are male or female. Contrary to popular misconceptions, feminism is not about female superiority, nor is it about replacing male dominance with female dominance. It is about fairness.
The reason feminism often appears to focus more on women is not that women are considered more important than men, but because many societies have historically placed women at a disadvantage in legal, social, economic, and political spheres.
Feminism seeks to address those imbalances. If men were the ones systematically denied opportunities because of their gender, feminism would advocate for them too. The principle remains the same: equality.
Historically, feminist movements have focused on correcting inequalities that disproportionately affected women. One of the most well-known examples is the fight for women’s voting rights. In many countries, women were once denied the right to participate in elections despite being equally affected by the decisions of elected leaders.
Feminist movements challenged these restrictions and successfully campaigned for women’s political participation.
Education is another area where disparities remain visible. In many communities around the world, including parts of Africa and the Middle East, boys are often given greater educational opportunities than girls. Families facing economic hardship may prioritise the education of sons, while daughters are expected to marry early or take on domestic responsibilities.
Economic inequality also remains a concern. Across various countries and industries, women continue to face barriers to career advancement and, in some cases, unequal pay for work of equal value.
In matters of inheritance and family law, certain customary practices continue to favour men over women. In some communities, daughters are excluded from inheriting family property, while sons are considered the primary heirs. Similarly, women may face legal, cultural, or social barriers when seeking divorce, property rights, or child custody.
Political representation presents another challenge. Although significant progress has been made globally, women remain underrepresented in many legislative bodies, government institutions, and leadership positions despite being equally qualified.
These are the kinds of issues feminism seeks to address—not because women are superior, but because equality requires that opportunities and rights be available to everyone.
So, Where Does Misandry Come In?
This is where much of the confusion begins. Many people assume that anyone who criticises male-dominated systems or challenges traditional gender roles is automatically a feminist. That is not always true. Some individuals are not advocating for equality at all. Instead, they express hostility toward men as a group. This is known as misandry.
Misandry refers to hatred, contempt, or prejudice against men simply because they are men. A misandrist does not seek equality. Rather, they believe men are inherently inferior, harmful, or undeserving of fair treatment. Their criticism is directed at men as a gender rather than at specific behaviours, systems, or injustices.
The difference may seem subtle, but it is important.
A feminist might say, “Women deserve equal opportunities and protection from discrimination.” And a misandrist might say, “Men are the problem.”
The first statement seeks fairness. The second stereotypes an entire gender.
The Difference Is in the Goal
The easiest way to distinguish feminism from misandry is to examine the goal. Feminism seeks equality. Misandry seeks hostility toward men. A feminist challenges unfair systems because they believe everyone deserves equal dignity and opportunity.
A misandrist attacks men because they believe men, as a group, deserve blame, suspicion, or punishment. One seeks justice, and the other seeks division.
Extremism Exists on Both Sides
Just as there are misandrists who harbour prejudice against men, there are also misogynists who harbour prejudice against women.
Misogyny is the belief that women are inferior, less capable, or less deserving of respect and opportunity. Throughout history, misogynistic attitudes have contributed to many of the inequalities that feminism seeks to address.
Both misandry and misogyny are harmful because they judge people based on gender rather than character. Neither promotes a healthy society.
Why This Conversation Matters
In today’s world, social media has amplified extreme voices. As a result, many people encounter the loudest and most controversial opinions and assume they represent entire movements.
When some people hear the word “feminism,” they immediately think of anger toward men. When others hear criticism of gender inequality, they dismiss it as misandry.
Both assumptions are misleading; before labelling someone a feminist, a misandrist, a misogynist, or anything else, it is important to listen carefully to what they are actually saying. Are they advocating for equal rights and opportunities? Or are they expressing hatred toward an entire gender? The answer makes all the difference.
Final Thoughts
Feminism is not the enemy of men. At its best, it is a call for fairness, dignity, and equal opportunity for all people.
A society where girls can access education, women can participate fully in leadership, men can express vulnerability without ridicule, and everyone is judged by their abilities rather than their gender is a stronger society for all.
The real threat is not feminism. The real threat is prejudice—whether it comes in the form of misogyny or misandry. Equality does not diminish anyone. It creates room for everyone to thrive.
The writer can be reached through email: nyiluethmamer@gmail.com
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