One hot afternoon, the chief assembled his subordinates for a secret meeting. He made sure he got the men who didn’t easily sell their mouths. Not everyone is trusted. Some can sell their mouths for a loaf of bread. Many did in the past. Many do it today. But there are always men who sell their mouths to God alone. It was wise of the chief. The meeting was held and concluded that none would whisper it to anyone except the gods. The gods had right to know because societies in Africa live under the directives of the gods. The gods were also useful to watch the welfare of every member in the society. The secret was sealed but the gods knew. It must not have been something else than how to get rid of the man. But who was to do? Who was to get rid of him?
Since culture forbade shedding the blood of a fellow village man, the decision was not to kill him but to leave it to the gods. Africans before could pity each other and murder wasn’t loved by many as today. People celebrate murder today but people mourned it before. Ah, I wish I had lived there! All was left to the gods and might the cry of the society be heard.
Everything has an end! I started telling the story; I must end it before taking my seat. The fate must come! It must come, though late, but it must.
That morning came a very strange wind which alarmed everyone. Many testified that that wind had never come since their ancestors started living in that village. The whole village knew that the gods must be angry. As everyone was still gazing up to heaven imagining how the end would be, the news came that the man who was the only hope for the boy was taken by the strange wind. Who would say a word while the gods decided his fate?
Though it was forbidden to celebrate the death of the fellow man, that day such norm didn’t come to mind. They celebrated though secretly. Hearing the news, everyone in the village assembled and a call was made for mourning. They had to mourn though it was not the interest of many especially those who bitterly tasted the man. Anyway, they mourned as needed by the gods.
The poor boy was left alone. The hope was gone. What would he do then? As anyone can guest, he had nothing to do than drinking himself almost to death. Would he listen to his mother? His father taught him that a woman is a woman and he must not listen to her.
In that society, a woman was treated as inferior human being and must only give birth, satisfy man’s sexual demand and do all the home chores. It was taught that a boy would not for any reason listen to a woman even his own mother. Having such teaching in the mind, the young man ignored his mother and took his own way.
A year after the death of the father, the boy finished everything the father had had and left with nothing at hand. His friends learning that he had lost everything, all left him. The poor boy had nowhere to go. He couldn’t do anything. His father didn’t teach him anything to help himself. He grew up with the mind of depending on the father alone. The father didn’t bother teaching him even some simple survival skills. The father was gone, what could he do then?
Whether you are an angel, you can’t help a person who can’t put the food in the mouth. The boy went overseas, what did he do there? Yes, the sealed story must be opened now. The boy wasted his time and resources thinking that he owned everything his father had had and no need for him to learn. Not to disappoint his father, he had stayed overseas till the time his colleagues graduated. With his money, he bribed to get certificate and be back home. He possibly had done it and went back home.
Pause! What can you learn from the story? Does it make sense to you? If you didn’t learn anything, I have learned something.
Parents pamper your child for whatever reason; know you have destroyed his/her life forever. As a teacher and somebody living in the society, I have learned many parents abuse their children. They don’t teach their children how they can live after them. A common proverb, “Teach me how to fish, don’t give me a fish.”
If you love your child, teach your child to live better life after you. Teach your child to live independently. Telling him/her to do some small work at home is a sign that you love him/her. Remember when you were a child, your parents made you to work and that is the reason why you have a family now.
It is sad also that many parents think it is the responsibility of the school to teach their children everything. Of course the school helps you in shaping the character of your child. But the school doesn’t give everything. The main focus of the school is to provide your child with the formal education not the informal education. Home education must be done before formal education.
Remember also that a child always listens to the first person that comes to his/her life. It is very true that your children can listen to you more than us, the teachers.
Some parents think they show their love to their children by giving them everything. I must tell you it isn’t true! It isn’t bad to give the child some pocket money, but don’t show the child that he/she can only depend on you. You have the full responsibility to provide whatever your child needs when young but there must be a limit to your provision. What destroy your child are not the basic needs you give to your child, but wanting your child to live extravagantly before he/she becomes independent. Understand dear parents, your resources don’t belong to your children. They belong to you. You only do your part as parents and when they grow up, they must take care of themselves.
Riches are not inherited. They fly away if fate takes you. Your children only take care of your wealth after you are gone but it will only take them a decade if they are wise. If you have not taught them to be responsible, they will not take good care of them. Where will they end up? You won’t know because you will have gone by that time.
Know this. I have students in my class. I always interact with them. Many of them who pass well in class are children who are orphans and live with uncles or aunts. Some have no one caring for them. They must struggle to pay their school fees or tuition fees. Despite the hardship they encounter, they are determined and do their best in school. They know that they must work hard to achieve their dreams and reach another level.
I love my parents for trying me if I could make it in school. My father didn’t go to school and my idea of going to school didn’t make sense to him. He denied his responsibility and left me alone in school. I had to struggle alone but can’t remember one time cursing him though I knew it was his responsibility. I was in school as an orphan but I kept dreaming. God helped me and finished my college and the university without his help. I thank God for those who encouraged me and supported me in one way or the other. I thank also Solidarity with South Sudan for giving me free scholarship to college and the university. If I wasn’t determined, I would have ended my education at the primary school level. I avoided everything that could interrupt my studies and had the motto, “School and the School alone”. Here, I am! A teacher teaching your children! Your children will still make it as I did.
I believe I won’t be misunderstood that I am supporting suffering or poverty. No, dear parents, I am not supporting poverty. I hate poverty as I hate my evil thoughts. It is true many of you do all those things to show to everyone that you are rich. There is nothing wrong with being rich. I have students who drive cars to school. I don’t hate them neither do I discourage them. We must not communicate to the society that we are poor, neither do we need to tell them that we are rich. Whether you are rich or not, it is you to know. Let it be a business between you and your God. Telling it to everyone will only invite problems to you.
Thieves will come because their work is to steal. Beggars will come and remind you of your past life which you don’t need to remember. Big names after big names will be given to you by some bedbugs who will want to lure you with their smiles and return you to poverty. Here I stand, “Remain rich, but teach your children to be rich also.”
Another thing I must address also is the fear that parents have of losing respect of their children if they don’t give them everything they need. I can’t deny it. Slaves always respect their masters. Parasites always respect their host. In this contemporary society, parents who don’t provide for their children earn less respect of their children. I don’t contradict the fact but remember the only provision demanded of you as parents is the provision of the basic needs. Anything beyond that is termed as luxury and let them wait to be luxurious with their sweat not yours.
In conclusion dear beloved listeners, failure to teach the child the way he/she should go, failure to show him/her his/her future, failure to install independent mentality in him/her, pampering him/her as if a glass, is what I termed as “THE FORGOTTEN CHILD ABUSE”. I appeal to the NGOs around against child abuse to look into it carefully. If you have been doing as the man in the story above, repent now. Please, please, repent! Let’s join hands, parents and teachers to build our nation.
t today. But there are always men who sell their mouths to God alone. It was wise of the chief. The meeting was held and concluded that none would whisper it to anyone except the gods. The gods had right to know because societies in Africa live under the directives of the gods. The gods were also useful to watch the welfare of every member in the society. The secret was sealed but the gods knew. It must not have been something else than how to get rid of the man. But who was to do? Who was to get rid of him?
Since culture forbade shedding the blood of a fellow village man, the decision was not to kill him but to leave it to the gods. Africans before could pity each other and murder wasn’t loved by many as today. People celebrate murder today but people mourned it before. Ah, I wish I had lived there! All was left to the gods and might the cry of the society be heard.
Everything has an end! I started telling the story; I must end it before taking my seat. The fate must come! It must come, though late, but it must.
That morning came a very strange wind which alarmed everyone. Many testified that that wind had never come since their ancestors started living in that village. The whole village knew that the gods must be angry. As everyone was still gazing up to heaven imagining how the end would be, the news came that the man who was the only hope for the boy was taken by the strange wind. Who would say a word while the gods decided his fate?
Though it was forbidden to celebrate the death of the fellow man, that day such norm didn’t come to mind. They celebrated though secretly. Hearing the news, everyone in the village assembled and a call was made for mourning. They had to mourn though it was not the interest of many especially those who bitterly tasted the man. Anyway, they mourned as needed by the gods.
The poor boy was left alone. The hope was gone. What would he do then? As anyone can guest, he had nothing to do than drinking himself almost to death. Would he listen to his mother? His father taught him that a woman is a woman and he must not listen to her.
In that society, a woman was treated as inferior human being and must only give birth, satisfy man’s sexual demand and do all the home chores. It was taught that a boy would not for any reason listen to a woman even his own mother. Having such teaching in the mind, the young man ignored his mother and took his own way.
A year after the death of the father, the boy finished everything the father had had and left with nothing at hand. His friends learning that he had lost everything, all left him. The poor boy had nowhere to go. He couldn’t do anything. His father didn’t teach him anything to help himself. He grew up with the mind of depending on the father alone. The father didn’t bother teaching him even some simple survival skills. The father was gone, what could he do then?
Whether you are an angel, you can’t help a person who can’t put the food in the mouth. The boy went overseas, what did he do there? Yes, the sealed story must be opened now. The boy wasted his time and resources thinking that he owned everything his father had had and no need for him to learn. Not to disappoint his father, he had stayed overseas till the time his colleagues graduated. With his money, he bribed to get certificate and be back home. He possibly had done it and went back home.
Pause! What can you learn from the story? Does it make sense to you? If you didn’t learn anything, I have learned something.
Parents pamper your child for whatever reason; know you have destroyed his/her life forever. As a teacher and somebody living in the society, I have learned many parents abuse their children. They don’t teach their children how they can live after them. A common proverb, “Teach me how to fish, don’t give me a fish.”
If you love your child, teach your child to live better life after you. Teach your child to live independently. Telling him/her to do some small work at home is a sign that you love him/her. Remember when you were a child, your parents made you to work and that is the reason why you have a family now.
It is sad also that many parents think it is the responsibility of the school to teach their children everything. Of course the school helps you in shaping the character of your child. But the school doesn’t give everything. The main focus of the school is to provide your child with the formal education not the informal education. Home education must be done before formal education.
Remember also that a child always listens to the first person that comes to his/her life. It is very true that your children can listen to you more than us, the teachers.
Some parents think they show their love to their children by giving them everything. I must tell you it isn’t true! It isn’t bad to give the child some pocket money, but don’t show the child that he/she can only depend on you. You have the full responsibility to provide whatever your child needs when young but there must be a limit to your provision. What destroy your child are not the basic needs you give to your child, but wanting your child to live extravagantly before he/she becomes independent. Understand dear parents, your resources don’t belong to your children. They belong to you. You only do your part as parents and when they grow up, they must take care of themselves.
Riches are not inherited. They fly away if fate takes you. Your children only take care of your wealth after you are gone but it will only take them a decade if they are wise. If you have not taught them to be responsible, they will not take good care of them. Where will they end up? You won’t know because you will have gone by that time.
Know this. I have students in my class. I always interact with them. Many of them who pass well in class are children who are orphans and live with uncles or aunts. Some have no one caring for them. They must struggle to pay their school fees or tuition fees. Despite the hardship they encounter, they are determined and do their best in school. They know that they must work hard to achieve their dreams and reach another level.
I love my parents for trying me if I could make it in school. My father didn’t go to school and my idea of going to school didn’t make sense to him. He denied his responsibility and left me alone in school. I had to struggle alone but can’t remember one time cursing him though I knew it was his responsibility. I was in school as an orphan but I kept dreaming. God helped me and finished my college and the university without his help. I thank God for those who encouraged me and supported me in one way or the other. I thank also Solidarity with South Sudan for giving me free scholarship to college and the university. If I wasn’t determined, I would have ended my education at the primary school level. I avoided everything that could interrupt my studies and had the motto, “School and the School alone”. Here, I am! A teacher teaching your children! Your children will still make it as I did.
I believe I won’t be misunderstood that I am supporting suffering or poverty. No, dear parents, I am not supporting poverty. I hate poverty as I hate my evil thoughts. It is true many of you do all those things to show to everyone that you are rich. There is nothing wrong with being rich. I have students who drive cars to school. I don’t hate them neither do I discourage them. We must not communicate to the society that we are poor, neither do we need to tell them that we are rich. Whether you are rich or not, it is you to know. Let it be a business between you and your God. Telling it to everyone will only invite problems to you.
Thieves will come because their work is to steal. Beggars will come and remind you of your past life which you don’t need to remember. Big names after big names will be given to you by some bedbugs who will want to lure you with their smiles and return you to poverty. Here I stand, “Remain rich, but teach your children to be rich also.”
Another thing I must address also is the fear that parents have of losing respect of their children if they don’t give them everything they need. I can’t deny it. Slaves always respect their masters. Parasites always respect their host. In this contemporary society, parents who don’t provide for their children earn less respect of their children. I don’t contradict the fact but remember the only provision demanded of you as parents is the provision of the basic needs. Anything beyond that is termed as luxury and let them wait to be luxurious with their sweat not yours.
In conclusion dear beloved listeners, failure to teach the child the way he/she should go, failure to show him/her his/her future, failure to install independent mentality in him/her, pampering him/her as if a glass, is what I termed as “THE FORGOTTEN CHILD ABUSE”. I appeal to the NGOs around against child abuse to look into it carefully. If you have been doing as the man in the story above, repent now. Please, please, repent! Let’s join hands, parents and teachers to build our nation.